Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I confess, I fell off the Diet Coke Wagon

I have this great friend, Jenn. I can use her real name because she was the second one on this Earth to learn about this blog and therefore knows she could end up on it.

Last weekend we spent the day freeloading off of Jenn's family and their beach house. Yes, you may have noticed a trend of my freeloading activities. Hint: If you rent a beach house and tell me about it, I may show up. Even if it means a three hour drive.

You have been warned.

Anyway, back to Jenn. When I first had Allie I was a nervous wreck, sure I was going to screw this kid up. Jenn was a fountain of advice. And unfortunately for her, most of Allie's first few years started with the phrase, "Jenn said...." to justify anything I did.

For the record I was not blaming Jenn, just proving to others that I was following sage advice since both her kids were healthy and not in jail.

After a spending the day in the rain (I swear Boo is paying off the rain Gods so she doesn't have to go to the beach) hanging at the beach house the girls and I were ready to head home.

Since it was late I asked Jenn if I could have a can of Diet Coke so I could perk up for the ride home. Jenn said "NOOOOOOO!!!" But her mom said "Of course" (her mom might be the better hostess).

I drove home relishing in my first sip of Diet Coke in over four months. It was DELICIOUS. I slurped that baby down faster than an Irish man breaks his Lenten whiskey fast.

Two exits later I had to pee and since the girls were asleep there was not respite. I had to keep the car in motion, lest Boo woke up. Plus have you ever tried to pee in a New Hampshire rest area while holding a child who would rather be sleeping on your lap? Yeah, I crossed my legs and prayed for forgiveness.

Then then headache started. You know, the head that throbs because of the evil in Diet Coke. Yeah, that old friend. And I couldn't blame the traffic because there was none (thank the Good Lord and all that is Holy).

I finally break all land-speed records (thank you to the Statey's who didn't pull me over) and make it home. Put the girls in their respective beds, told Bailey to cross his legs and VICTORY I made it to the powder room. (quick aside, why is it called a powder room? I've never had powder)

Put Bailey out, he is relieved and then we try to go to bed. When I mean try, I mean he fell asleep like the dog he is and I had a sleepless night. Tossing and turning, not being able to settle my mind, because of the Diet Coke caffeine.

Of course the next morning the girls were up at 6:30 am. Cause that is how they roll.

And now I am officially back on the Diet Coke abstinence wagon again.

The moral of the story?

The next time Jenn says anything do it.

And hope like hell she doesn't say stop drinking wine.


  1. Oh caffeine gets me every time, too. But I still find myself craving it when I shouldn't, but I am more a Dr. Pepper girl though!!

  2. You are a great storyteller, Kerri! I love my coffee every morning, but I fortunately do not get a headache from the caffeine (or lack of it). And hooray for your strong bladder!

  3. You are too funny. But I'm very glad you're back on the wagon! And glad that you didn't pee in your pants! I'm surprised you even still liked the taste! I secretly ordered a regular coke when we went to the drive-in. I haven't drank one in several years. I though I was in for a real treat, but instead I found that I couldn't stand the taste of it anymore!

  4. Wait... diet coke usually helps my headaches. I have a headache now and a diet coke sitting next to me. Am I doing it wrong? I am so hooked on the crack that I have such issues giving it up!

  5. I've never gotten a headache from drinking diet soda -- only from not drinking it. Good for you on the wagon. So are you caffeine free??? I don't think I could do that!!

  6. Awesome story! I'm glad you made it home and didn't have to try and pee in the empty Diet Coke can!


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