About three months now (woo hoo three!) I gave up Diet Coke. It wasn't pretty, my friends. But I did it. Recently I read a great post by Jen Kehl and am going to try to give up one more thing.
I do not think I yell, a lot. But I do know sarcasm is my friend. In my house I am famous for the eye roll (now mimicked by Allie) and when I do lose my temper, well it is as pretty as me off the Diet Coke.
Jen had this great post about parenting Brady-style. Now I know what you are thinking. Every once in a while I wish Marsha got a slap upside the head. I would suggest you go read her version here, but then you might not come back. She has some great posts. So here is my synopsis of her post in a nutshell:
Treat your kids with empathy, cool-headedness, use disappointment to guilt them and most importantly don't yell. Now I am a total fan of living in Kristi's Our Land of Empathy and Wonder. But I am not always empathetic when dealing with my own children, husband and definitely not with the puppy-turned-toddler-dog.
I may use guilt, but only that they have upset me. Not that I am disappointed in their behavior. I am definitely not cool-headed, I blame this on my goal of having the perfect family and why the hell don't they conform to my wishes. And yelling? I don't typically yell unless I am pushed just over the edge of reason. Then the neighbors can hear me.
Again, none of this is the picture of perfect motherhood I was promised in Lamaze class. Although there was screaming there.
Back to Jen, what struck me about her post was that she noticed her son was reacting based on her action. If I roll my eyes at her father, won't Allie do the same behavior? Hell, yes.
Now this might not be the brightest idea during summer vacation. But I am going to try Jen's Brady-parenting style. I will (try to) eliminate yelling, be more empathetic when Allie has an issue and speak quietly.
I figure it is better to master it before homework starts up again. I'll let you know if life becomes calmer or if Allie decides to move in with her crafty aunt.
The life and times of Boo. A girl without a diagnosis but with unlimited possibilities!
I guess it's hard to be empathetic at times, because of the impact of our own stresses. But try to be we must! Thanks for sharing, Kerri!
ReplyDeleteGo for it! If you can give up Diet Coke, you can give up anything.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to hearing how it's coming along.
(and the reason I'm so confident is that you're not doing it for a trend or 'just because' but because you've seen the sense in it and the way it will positively impact your children and your relationship with them. You rock)
Thanks, and yes I am so not trendy! Keep your fingers crossed.
DeleteHoly crap - congratulations on going THREE MONTHS without Diet Coke! Awesome. Seriously that's so not easy. I've been thinking more about how we interact as well - what we teach our kids through our actions really is so important. I used to yell at my husband in front of Tucker - still do, sometimes but often I catch myself. Great post, friend. And really! 3 months is HUGE. You rock. Oh and the neighbors hear me yell too. I haven't yelled in a while. Unless you count last week when I screamed "Go the f*ck to sleep" at the baby monitor. I think I'm the only one who heard that. Phew.
ReplyDeleteCrap, was that you? I thought for sure it came from my house last night.
DeleteYou will do just fine and persevere..but you also know that I have a bedroom that Allie claimed when she was 3!! AND she makes me swear that I changed the sheets if someone else sleeps over then checks for herself! haha
ReplyDelete<3 crafty auntie
Kerri ~ I am truly honored. What started out as a personal epiphany has really seemed to resonate with a lot of people. Trust me, I am no better than anyone else. As a matter of fact I actually said to Isaiah today, "I am really trying not to yell, please, don't make me yell." But.. on the other hand, since I've been doing this about 3 weeks, one look is all it takes sometimes. When he talks back to me, I just look at him like I'm a little sad and he says, "OK Mommy, I'm sorry." DUDE that is something coming from my little pyromaniac!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this amazing post, I think there's something to it!
I don't know how you gave up diet coke- I've had two already today! You'll have to write a recap post on how you do with the new parenting style.
ReplyDeleteI hardly yell and when I do I feel like crap aferwards. Will have to read Jen's post about the Brady bunch to close another gap in education!
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