It is time to take 5 minutes and just write without an editor. Ready, Set, Go....
I have long struggled to belong. During the school years I always felt like a misfit. Then after high school I struggled to know where I belonged. Should I go to college and follow the herd or get a job to pay the rent. I chose the job, because well rent has to be paid. Then I struggled with learning how to belong into the adult world.
I have never belonged to my own skin, always wanting to conform to be part of the pack.
When I met David I felt I belonged. I was part of a couple, a team, a family. Then came Allie and I faltered learning how to belong in the world of the mom and the worker. Never really having enough energy for both worlds.
When we had Boo I struggled again to belong. There was no community for an undiagnosed child. Sure there were doctors, therapists and family. But no one who really got it.
Then the world of blog allowed me to belong. I found kinship with other moms who struggle with their children. Allowing me to be Allie's mom and Boo's mom. Two different countries but the same world.
Belonging to the world of family has been my saving grace. Belonging, to me, means having purpose. To have similar goals and dreams. I have been blessed with knowing I belong to many worlds. All important, all loved and all supportive.
Belonging doesn't mean following the pack. It means being secure in yourself so you can share yourself with others.
I have always struggled to belong. I am glad I finally do.