Holy Crap x3

Wow. I just realized that people read my blog and like me. A Boy Named Silas is a boy who we should all try to emulate. He just doesn't seem to get down. And his mom awarded me with a Liebster.

I'd like to thank my mom for teaching me
how to read and then write!

I do not want to bore you with 11 more things about me. But I do want to brag some more about other bloggers!

Have you read I can Say Mama?  Not only is she not Martha Stewart, she is a real person who sees the best in life.

Another favorite is Michelle at Big Blueberry Eyes. I love that she is so proactive in the Down Syndrome Community. And also that she shares tips that seem to work with Boo :)

So here are my question's to answer from Silas' mom!

1. Think of the day your child received his or her diagnosis. What is the first word that comes to mind? Boo doesn't have a diagnosis. After 4 years we do not know why she suffers from Booitis (my pet name for it). I think at first, though when told she would be "special" the first word that came to mind (is sadly) despair.
2. Who is your favorite doctor, specialist, or therapist for your child and why? I don't have a favorite therapist, they all rock and have become great friends. My favorite doctor would be our primary pediatrician. Probably because he comes to the office in flip-flops if you catch him on a weekend.
3. What symptom of your child's disability breaks your heart the most? Constipation. Because there is no way to relieve or explain her pain.
4. What symptom of your child's disability is actually somewhat endearing? Her stubborness. She just WILL NOT give up
5. What is something your child is REALLY good at? Hugs. She seriously gives the best hugs.
6. In three words, describe how you have changed after becoming a special-needs parent.  I gained patience.
7. How has having a special-needs child impacted your spiritual life? It made me question more why God lets children suffer. Even though Boo suffers much less than most. (I still don't have an answer)
8. Would you take away your child's disability if you could? Why or why not? I think I would. Because just like I would like Allie to be a Harvard Grad, I want Boo to have a life without pain or difficulty.
9. What is the most disrespectful thing anyone has ever said to you or your child? I have been lucky. No one has been really disrespectful.
10. "One thing I wish more people realized about my child is ..." That she will not 'grow out of it' and "become normal" and we are okay with that.
11. If you were to articulate all the wishes you have for your child, what would they be? Seriously? How much time do you have? For both girls I want them to be the best they can be. If it means Allie becomes a Harvard Grad, bonus. If it means Boo goes a day without having to work so hard, even better.

Thanks again, to Silas's mom. Her blog rocks and you should totally check it out. I would renominate her, but I think that is against the rules!

A Holy Crap Moment

I am actually speechless. A little overwhelmed, a lot grateful and well mostly speechless. (My husband would never believe I could be speechless). I was nominated for not one, but two Liebster Awards. One from Kristi @ Finding Ninee and the second from Misty @ Meet the Cottons (she has another blog, too that I love called Take it or Leave it which you should totally check out).

So here it the deal. With the Liebster Award I have to do some work. Not just brag about my girls or vent about the world. The first rule, is done I send a heartfelt sincere THANK YOU shout out to both Misty & Kristi (sounds like they should be twins, doesn't it?). And I have to show the beautiful award.

Okay, I am so impressed that I figured out how to do show the award!

And now the easy part, bragging about the blogs I love and rely on to keep my sanity and sense of humor.  A Liebster Award is an acknowledgement that your blog rocks from another blogger. Okay, probably not the Webster's Dictionary definition, but what I believe I to be true about the following blogs. It goes without saying that Misty & Kristi are in my top 7 but since I already gave you those links, here I go....(in no particular order, I go to these all daily)

Big Brother, Little Sister and the Baby first, because Coop is freaking adorable. And second how can you not love to follow some one who lives half-way around the world, remains upbeat and has three kids with the best names possible!

Anybody want a peanut? I love how Jen is brutally honest about her families struggles. I like knowing that although my Boo doesn't have autism we face the same type of hurdles. I found her blog when I thought she was quoting the Princess Bride to describe her life! 

Musings of a Marfan Mom, I confess to not even knowing what Marfan Syndrome was before discovering Maya. I enjoy how her blog includes her own struggles, her sons' and now her adoption journey. It is life, complicated and she seems to excel at it!

From across the other pond, Looking for Blue Sky. Partly because she seems to get my sense of humor and partly because I love the Irish :)

Ever feel like you could live the dream? Go check out Susan at Trout Towers. Her kids are perfectly normal, it is the one blog I read that has nothing to do about special needs. Even though her kids are normal, she has a unique bent on life.

A new find, is livenowandzen although I have no idea how to pronounce it. But trust me, anyone who can apply my favorite all time movie (The Princess Bride) to this special life we lead is a rare find!

Last but not least, Flannery over at The Connor Chronicles. Again, we seem to have the same sense of humor. I love how she looks at her son and sees a kid with autism. Not an autistic son. And yes there is a difference.

Now that the bragging is done, here I need tell you 11 things about me. You might not find them interesting, but rules are rules.

1. I am a rule follower.
2. I believe in disciplining my kids.
3. I do not believe that just because Boo is Boo that means she can be a holy terror. And neither can Allie but my patience threshold with her is lower.
4. My kids eat healthier than I do
5. I wish I had straight hair
6. I love to read. Just no particular genre. Some days it is Percy Jackson and some times it is War & Peace
7. I refuse to read 50 Shades of Grey because my mom  and Tia's step mom told us it made them hot
8. I have only told 2 friends about this blog
9. I love Irish Pubs, but I don't drink beer (in fact I have never had one!)
10. I think kids should go to school year round. Not that I don't love them. But working and having to find surround care sucks.
11. I sometimes take the long way home so I can have 20 minutes where I don't have to be polite, nice or talk to anyone.

The next part is tricker, because I was nominated by twice I have to answer twice as many questions (sorry if you are bored). 

1. What is your secret dream? To travel around the world
2. What does your significant other not know about you that a friend does? Just about everything! Including this blog. I told him once, in an Irish Pub, but I don't think he remembers
3. If you could have one wish that didn’t earn you money and didn’t magically fix something, what would it be? This question is impossible! I think it might be to exorcise my Catholic Guilt complex.
4. How would you describe your personal style? Trying to be fashionable but failing miserably
5. What three words do you think your closest friends would use to describe you? Funny, Tiny and Fierce
6. If your house were on fire, and your family and pets safe, what three items would you attempt to save? My antique china doll, Boo's stuffed puppy and whatever cash was lying about
7. Do you believe in plastic surgery? Not for me, but like abortion not my call for you.
8. What’s number one on your bucket list? To hike the Knife's Edge
9. If you had one hour of secret free time, how would you use it? I would play Words with Friends and get a better score
10. Beer, wine, mixed drinks, water or soda? Wine, Pinot Grigio please if you are pouring
11. Are you afraid of the dentist? Hell yes
12. Name a food that you would not eat as a child, but enjoy as an adult. Lobster (my mom told me I didn't like it because we couldn't afford it)
13. What was the last movie you watched or the last book you read? Last movie, American Reunion (sad, but true) last book Threat Vector by Tom Clancy (does it count if I am in the middle of it?)
14. What is your favorite Girl Scout Cookie and why? I don't have one, although my Husband is addicted to Thin Mints
15. Do you have a favorite movie soundtrack and what is it? I don't think I do
16. Are you "a little bit country" or "a little bit rock and roll"? A little of both, I have them on my radio presets
17. Do you think it's weird that I sort my dirty laundry? I don't think it is weird, but sometimes the smell is bothersome
18. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Fudge
19. What word do you almost always misspell? Anything with "i" before "e"
20. Do you have pets? Crazy puppy
21. Words to live by. I love you no matter what
22. Are you a social butterfly or a recluse? This is tough, I used to be a recluse and now seem to be a butterfly!

HAHAHA this is the fun part, now my nominees have to answer my questions:

1. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
2. High heels, sneakers or flip flops?
3. The Beach, the City or the Mountain?
4. Who is your favorite singer/group?
5. If you could vacation anywhere (expense is not a consideration) where would you go and why?
6. Do you mind that my blog is sometimes snarky?
7. What is one thing we would be surprised to know about you?
8. Favorite, guilty pleasure, TV show?
9. Favorite book or author?
10. Do you admit to having a favorite child?
11. If you could replace your life with one from the Disney Channel which show would you pick?

Wow, this was harder than I thought, but a lot more fun. Thanks, as always for stopping by. I hope you come back soon and learn more about our life. Kerri

Birthdays

From StoryPeople.com

I usually don't like acknowledging my birthday. But having Boo walk around the house saying HAPPY DAY puts a whole new spin on it. 

Driving Miss Allie

Allie talks. A lot. Sometimes it is mind-numbing and you feel your ears kind of throb. But you have to pay attention. Because once and a while she slips something important in there. Like her life's plan.

The other night I was driving her to her riding lesson, typically a half-hour drive. For a change it was just the two of us, the minute her butt hit the seat the mouth started moving. Because I am going for mom of the year I offered her use of the IPOD. I could have a quiet moment or two, right?

Wrong. Allie went into a soliloquy about what she wants to be when she get older. She started asking about how much the test was to be a vet and did she have to do a lot of math to be one. We went on and on and on about the different types of vets. I explained about college and yes there was math involved. But there is math involved in any job.

Allie: Except if you are just a mom, right?
Me: Nope, because Mom's get stuck helping their children with the homework. (Yes, I said it: get stuck!)

After riding, she got back into the car and told me she thought about it some more. She has decided not to be a vet. But that her new husband would be one. (quick aside--I have no idea who the old husband is or what he did for work!). But Allie is going to be a therapist.

Me: What type of therapist?

Allie: An OT because they get to do everything. Boo's OT does speech, PT and OT with her and that is the most fun therapy.

But the conversation, of course, didn't end there. Allie has it all planned out. See, Allie figures that Boo hates OT because it isn't a fun place to go. There is too much going on. So Allie's new husband is going to redo their basement as the perfect OT room. She has decided that if "special needs" kids think they are just going on a play date at someone's house they will not cry. She will have mats, a ball pit, a bounce house and everything Boo might need.

Me: Boo? 

Allie: Of course, Boo. She and all her friends from school will be my first patients. My new husband will let them pet of the animals he takes care of so they can have more OT than normal. They will tell all their friends to come to me. I will have fun, be rich and my new husband worry about the math.

And OT's get to use IPADS!

As we got out of the car and went into the house she told me, "Yup. I am either going to be a vet, an OT or a Princess."

....all of this lead me to wonder, does Allie pay any attention during her riding lesson?

Tag your it

I do believe the girls are tag-teaming us. Allie is usually my sleeper. It takes her a while to get to sleep, but once she is there all is quiet. Except this week. On Saturday she was awake from 2am-5am. On Sunday Boo was fussing from 3-4a. On Monday it was Allie's turn, Midnight-3am. Last night it was Boo's turn.

So I have a plan. 

I will initiate my plan in 15 or so years. When they are in their 20's before they have children and have to be up with them. But after they are through college when they can sleep through their classes.

I am going to call them, or go to their house, or if they live across the country hire some one to knock on their door and wake them up at 2am. Talk to them until at least 4am. Then go home and nap. Because by the time I am 60 I will no longer need so much sleep or be used to the deprivation, right?

Then I will tag one of you to do it to your non-sleeper. Who is in?

Did you grieve?

The other day I was asked if I had ever ‘grieved’ for Boo. I was completely taken aback by the question. Why would I grieve when my child lived? Of course, the person meant did I grieve the child I thought I would have (aka “perfection”).

The true answer would be, no I haven’t grieved. But not because I am a glutton for punishment or in denial, but because I accept—most of the time anyway—Boo for who she is. My sister-in-law thought that maybe I had so much trouble over the holidays because I hadn’t grieved. What she didn’t realize was that I never blamed Boo for my feelings. Nor was I upset that I couldn’t buy my 4-year old appropriate gifts and instead went with therapy based ones.

My problem was that I was feeling guilty and (I admit) kind of overwhelmed, depressed, and feeling that I suck at being her mom because of my own shortcomings. Not because of Boo’s. Yes, I struggle when I see typical 4-year olds. But that is not about grief. It is about wanting my child not to have to work so hard.

What I tried to explain to my SIL was that if Allie didn’t get into Harvard (hey, a mom can dream) I am going to be upset because she worked so hard to get into the school (again, a mom can wish). With Boo, I get upset because she works so hard to achieve things that are normal milestones for other kids. And at her birthday or the holidays I feel bad for Boo that she doesn’t get the magic like other children her age.

Most days, I am able to put Boo into perspective. Whenever I get too into the self-pity mode, I only have to look into the waiting room of any therapy or doctor’s office. There is always a child who struggles are more intense. Which that Catholic guilt in me makes me feel guilt that I actually think: thank God that isn’t my child. Come on be honest, I am not the only one! And I am sure some parent looks at Boo and has the same feeling.

Although they probably don’t admit it for the world to judge!

I am not sure what the grieving process is, or if I am in the midst of one and just don’t know it. I do know that it is exactly what makes Boo a ‘special’ child that I love the most about her. While I wish her struggle wasn’t so difficult, I know it is exactly her determination that makes her the girl that we know and love.

So I don't believe that I have grieved. And I do not think I want to. I would rather rejoice that Boo is Boo.