TBT-where would I live?

Today's Throw-back Thursday post is actually a post from a Finish that Sentence Friday Prompt I answered on April 11, 2013. The prompt was: If I could live anywhere I would live..."

Here:

Dear Helicopter Parents, Snap out of it

Life is too short for me to be a helicopter parent. I'm involved. I'm on the PTA. I badger Abby over her homework, her flute practice and cleaning her room.  I communicate with Boo's team (which is another type of parenting, not helicopter).  At a PTA event before school started the new Principal asked me if I was happy with Abby's placement for the next year. I replied, I have no idea. In all honesty I didn't even know that Abby would have two teachers this year. 

I do not place my child in the preferred teacher's classroom. I do not say she has to have XYZ in her class. When Abby is 15 she will not be able to pick her boss. I think learning in primary school that you have to work for whatever teacher you get is a good lesson. Let her learn now at a young age how to debate, negotiate and comply with the person entrusted to educate her. 

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It's funny. I do not call you dad. I call you Joe. It feels right, to both of us. You met my mom well after I was grown. You gave a woman who is so deserving a new start on life. A better life, for both of you. My mom deserved happiness and security. I am so thankful you were there to provide it. You scared the crap out of her (and us) when you had a heart attack. Made her (and us) smile again when you were able to ride the carousel. 

You did not walk me down the aisle when I married. That wasn't our relationship at the time. But you stood proudly as I made this so important step. When David and built our house, when I went back to college, when we visit one another our relationship evolves into more than friendship. More than respect. A relationship based on trust and love. More father/daughter than step dad/ step monster. That you got to avoid my teenage years is my gift to you this Father's Day.

Although it wasn't until Abby was born that our relationship truly began.

I will never forget the day I brought Abby home from the hospital. You took her into your arms and the connection was forged. From that moment on you were no longer standing by in our lives but living the important moments with us. You stopped asking mom if it was okay to go into my refrigerator. You realized you were no longer company but family.

That is when you transitioned from my mom's husband to my dad. You became Abby's number one when you both accepted one another as is. She deals with your falling asleep in movies. You deal with her needing your endless attention. You suffer through her planning a Princess Birthday party for you. She suffers you trying to teach her Latin and math concepts. Plus you ate the cake she made so bonus points.

You are not Grandpa but Jampa. Even though she can actually pronounce Grandpa she is quick to correct anyone who dares call you Grandpa. While she might not understand why you are a Joe and not a dad to me, she understands unwavering love. In fact she taught us that lesson early on.

Abby and her #1 Jampa Joe

When Boo was born Abby hoped she would get your eyes. Not understanding that, well you being Asian and us being of Irish descent made that kind of impossible. 

You show the same patience with Boo. Involving her in your endless games of Memory with Abby. Even though she cheats (Boo, that is *wink **wink).

Boo might not have ended up with your eyes, but we all win with you as our number one. 
Recently at school she showed off a picture of you. She didn't understand why people were surprised that you were her grandfather. Abby retorted to the teacher: Of course he is, don't you see how we look alike?

As you are a man who exudes and respects traditions we appreciate your sacrifice to our chaotic, crazy and no way traditional family.

Happy Day from Boo. Happy Jampa Day from Abby who will never see you as anything other than her Jampa. And last but not least, Happy Father's day from a woman who considers herself lucky to have her Joe.

Love,
Kerri

I Run 4

I have written before (insert too much!) about the importance of creating a village of support when you have a child with special needs. Heck, even with a typical child a support system should be included with every birth certificate.

Mom in the elevator

Dear Mom in the Elevator,

I'm sorry. I apologize for leaving so quickly. I saw you and your husband in the elevator at Children's. You were wearing the badge of the NICU. You had hit the elevator for the respite floor. You looked so spent. So wiped. So scared.

As I left with Boo for her cardiology appointment I turned and said, It gets easier.

Then I left.

In a blink of an eye

Just yesterday I gave birth. Just a night ago I rocked a baby to sleep. At midnight I dealt with my baby's first fever. At breakfast I watched my baby take her first step. At lunch I heard her say her first sentence. At twilight I watched her ride a bike for the first time. At dinner we spoke about fractions. At bedtime she brushed her teeth without prompting.

Never ending journey

It wasn't what I expected. For some reason when I was little I thought all I have to do is survive until I am 18. Then life would be perfect. I would be all grown-up. I would answer only to myself. I would be respected. I would be content. I would stop searching. I would know that this is where and when I was supposed to be.

I'm guilty

I admit it, I'm guilty of sucking at Valentine's Day. I am guilty of forgetting to get David a card until minutes before the deadline. I refuse to get the children gifts. David, I went all 1980's and made a mix-tape, well CD, for him of his favorite 1980's music. Jen would be proud. But like all of my mix-tapes it was probably the wrong theme of the week!

A funny thing

A funny thing happened on the way to becoming Boo's mom. I knew Boo was not going to be the same from Abby right from the start. In a way that does not diminish my love and adoration for her sister, but in a way that makes me a better mom to both.  However her being Boo turned me into mom that celebrates moments that shouldn't happen.

What to buy....

Do you know the song by Barenaked Ladies, If I had a million dollars?

Of course you do. Unless you only listen to classical music and then I just educated you. But if I had a million dollars I don't know what the heck I would do with all that money. In all seriousness. Other than quit my job. Like not even call in sick. Just call in quit. Like, Hey I have a million dollars I don't need to work in an office that is 95 degrees when it is only 10 degrees outside!

David would still work. He'd have to because, well that is how our relationship survives. I don't understand couples that spend 24/7 together. Admire, yes. Understand, not so much.

Along the BNL theme, I would build a tree fort in the yard. Yeah. I wouldn't build it so much as I would hire the Tree House Masters people from Animal Planet. Have you seen that show? 

Abby has tree house envy. Especially since she doesn't have a tree house. Just a great play set that our neighbor walked through the woods when their kids outgrew it. I have great neighbors. They deliver milk, wine and playgrounds. 

If I had a million dollars I would buy a new car. Only because the muffler finally fell off the car I have had longer than I have been married. I really don't want to give that car up, but for a million dollars and not have to drive around dragging a muffler? That would be doable. 

If I had a million dollars I would hire someone to clean my bathrooms. My most hated chore around the house. Each week I wonder why I have two bathrooms for four people. Couldn't we all just use one? But I would only hire someone until I figured out how old Abby has to be in order to use chemicals to clean the bathroom. Then it would be her job to clean the bathroom. Let's face it, I give her a tree house she can clean the bathroom.

If I had a million dollars I would still be a mom, a wife, a blogger and a friend. Not much would really change.

Who am I kidding? If I had a million dollars I would plan the best vacation ever! Right after I called in quit.

What about you? If you had a million dollars you would......

 

Goals

My blogging goals for this year are not so easily defined.  I really don’t have any! If I had to list goals, and I do because the FTSF ladies told me to, it would be:

Okay, totally stumped here. I mean, it’s a blog and its mine I should have some type of goal. Right? I started the blog more as a mind-dump/stress reliever more than anything else. It has evolved into something more. So much more.

When I was little

When I was little I believed in fairy tales. I believed that if I could just find freaking Tinkerbelle I would be able to visit the Peter Pan and the lost boys in Neverland. They, of course, would let me be the first girl in the lost boys clubhouse.

I used to lay in bed every night imagining the adventures we would have. I would line up all my stuffed animals and have long in-depth conversations. I lived in my imagination and went to sleep sure I would wake up covered in fairy dust.

Then I became a teen and the dust slowly dissipated. As an adult that fairy dust all but disappeared.

Until I had Abby. Who I put to bed and say goodnight. Then once I leave the room, I listen as she sets up her dolls and stuffed animals and whispers to them about all the adventures they will be having tonight.

How would you finish a sentence that begins:

When I was little.....

The very best part

The best part of my day is putting Boo to bed. This is my time with her. The time of day that I will not let anyone else interfere. I am steadfast that no one puts her to bed other than me when I am home. This moment is when she hugs me with her whole body as I carry her to her room. She hugs me around the neck with her legs around my waist. Lays her head on my shoulder and snuggles close.

I lay her down on her bed and say I love you. She replies 'ank you'. While I wish for some day to hear her tell me she loves me, 'ank you' is enough for now. I lay her down, cover her with her blanket and slowly walk out of the room.

I say one more time, Night, night Boo I love you and hear, 'ank you' one last time. My heart swells with love all the field trip pain melts away. I don't care that she is delayed, just that she is sleeping in her bed. I don't care that she cannot say or understand I love you. Because I know that while she might not understand it, she knows that she is loved.

That is how I finished the sentence this Friday, the best part of my day is....

Tell me, what is the best part of yours?