All is quiet....

The sure sign that some one is up to trouble is when a peep is not heard.

 

I am wondering if this falls under the category of physical or occupational therapy?

It was definitely not speech therapy they were both too quiet :)

I blame Boo for my failings

It is day 9 of the Diet Coke saga. Yes, I am counting. So far I have been a total failure, and I blame Boo. First she hasn't been sleeping well since the company left and school started back up. Second, while she did not get the flu she did get a cold. Which she then passed on to her loving, Diet Coke addict, sleep deprieved mother.

So I decided a wean was in order. Forget cold turkey, who can just stop doing something they love? And I love, LOVE, did I say LOVE, Diet Coke in a can. Not in a bottle, not by a fountain, not in any other form. (Okay, that could be a Sam-I-Am rhyme!). But I do not drink coffee or tea and need caffeine. So on Saturday I broke down and bought a 2-liter. Convincing myself that I would only drink it on the weekend and let coworkers deal with the sleep deprivation. I also drank the 2-liter over 2-days so there was none left over to take to work on Monday morning.

I've been too busy to go to the store to buy more, so far that mode of denial is working. It's Thursday and I've gone 4 entire days without slipping.

Although I could use a ice-cold can right now....

Does your child know what to do?

After the tragedy in New Town, CT, many of the parents in our school (and I am sure yours) worried about their children’s safety in a new way.  Last night our PTA held a special meeting with our town’s safety officers. I have to say, I am beyond impressed. And that is knowing that I have an in at the fire department.

I never talked about the shootings with Allie. She came home from school and told me that the teacher had told them a bad man had broken into the school and tried to hurt the children. But not to worry because their school would be safe (exactly how she could promise that is beyond me). Allie told her classmates not to worry, that she knew the fire fighters and they would come and save them. Tall order for Daddy, but he is up to the task.

She also said that doing the lock down drill wasn’t scary. It is like a fire drill. A fire probably isn’t going to happen but kids need to know what to do so they aren’t scared. (Out of the mouths of babes, right?)

Last night was interesting for many reasons. The first, most irritating was that for all the brouhaha on the PTA Facebook page and e-mails from parents questioning if our school was safe enough only 15 people showed up. Come on people. If you are that concerned about your kids show up for the meeting (Yes, I have a snarky side).

Another interesting factoid was that our police, fire and school departments have been ‘drilling’ for different types of scenarios for over six years. That we parents just didn’t know what was involved. Until CT and we decided we wanted something done. Their response was an affirmative. Not only must something be done but they are training all the time to ensure the safety of our children. Things go on at school that we just do not realized.

But here is the thing. With all the training and drills for the children. Kids still don’t know what to do. A question arose from a parent about what would happen if a child was in the bathroom during a lockdown. The answer: the child would leave the bathroom (or hallway) and go to the nearest classroom. From there they would follow the teacher’s direction. So, of course I asked Allie if she knew what to do. Her answer: Well, first I would “finish” (that girl cracks me up she is so literal) and then I would hide under the stall.

So the kids do not always know. Or they are told but forget. And that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Allie forgets what happened at 10am this morning if she is asked at tomorrow at the same time. As parents it is our job to find out what the procedures are and reinforce them at home. Our safety team (yes, we have a team) told the PTA the most important thing we could do to help them, is after a drill to talk to our kids and provide feedback on what worked, what was scary/confusing, did the teachers act like it was a joke or important.

As I said, I didn’t have “the talk” with Allie about New Town. But that doesn’t mean we don’t talk about safety. And now I know how to direct the conversation.

Boo, is another story. We were told at her school that children with special needs (be it autism, undiagnosed, CP or mobility issue) were taken to another location. This was in deference to the fact that kids with autism, for example, if placed in a high stress situation with a lot of excitable/scared kids are more likely to shut down, elope or react in a way that is harmful to themselves or others. Since Boo spends half her day in an integrated preschool and half in the special needs program, I asked her teacher what would happen if she was in preschool. Would she be transferred with the preschoolers or go with the specials? The teacher didn’t know. She ‘assumed’ that Boo would stay with the preschool. But she would find out, for sure. Personally I am not too worried. Because Daddy would be responding with the fire truck and Boo has an aide that not allowed to leave her side. But what about the other parents who might not know that their child will be moved across town for their safety?

This is a long blog post. And I hope you are still reading because this is important. I urge you to get involved either with your PTA or safety team. Do you not have a safety team (EMS, police, teachers, school nurses)? If you need info, e-mail me and I can put you into contact with our EMS officer.

But here is what else you can do:

• Find out where you child is going to be at in the event of an evacuation (in New Town it was a fate that the fire station was next door).
• Find out what the procedures are, and ask your child if they know as part of a conversation not an alarming quiz.
• After a drill, send feed back to your PTA or school principal. Let them know how your child did. I promise they want to know.
• If you have a child with special needs, find out exactly what training has been taken (do they practice lifting wheelchairs down stairs with a child—not an adult) in them?
• See if you can join the team or what you can do to help in an emergency situation. Do they need people to help keep track of kids, reunite them with their families, etc…?
• And lastly, if your PTA hosts a safety meeting make sure you go. Be as involved with your child’s safety as you are their soccer practice (I warned you I was snarky).

It is does take a village to keep your child safe. So be an active member!

I play favorites

When I had Allie I swore I was one and done. I had a great job, a husband who tried to be wonderful, a well discplined dog and a seemingly perfect child. I did not think I had the capacity to love a child as much as I love Allie. I did not think I would have the patience for another child. Because, let's face it, having a husband and a dog is like having a more children. (I do love him, though, I swear!).

Then five years later, Boo appeared. I should start off with saying, that while not planned, Boo was not a 'mistake' or a reason for despair. Once we learned I was pregnant we were ecstatic. Okay, wait a minute, I admit I cried to my boss--but seriously I was ONE AND DONE! On top of it all, I am so not a baby person. Give me a toddler a tween and I can be the perfect mom. But babies? Pass the baby please to the maternal-type to my left or right.

What I learned, especially in the NICU, was that I could love another child. But that would not mean that I loved Allie any less. In fact, having Boo made me love Allie more. It made Allie grow up, and not be spoiled (I admit, she was spoiled). It showed me how great a girl Allie was, one who would teach me how to accept Boo for Boo. 

Although I am not a "baby" person (trust me, I used to change Allie with gloves on) I sometimes think she is God's little joke on me. "Oh Kerri, you aren't comfortable with babies? Have one for 3 years". But I have risen to the challenge, yes totally patting myself on the back. And have relished in the baby years that passed to quickly with Allie.


And I was right. I do play favorites. Allie is my favorite shopping companion, the one who shares my sarcastic wit, the one I want to talk in an opera voice for a day (yes, we did). Husband is my favorite, start a fire and pour a glass of wine favorite. Bailey is my favorite to go for a walk/run with and Boo? She is my favorite snuggle, the one I could hold all day and not get tired. Boo is my favorite quiet moment, Allie my favorite crazy moment, Husband my favorite 80's hair band moment. And Bailey my favorite unconditional love moment.

I think it is okay to pay favorites. Because life is never what we plan. Allie planned on the perfect sister, and got it. I planned on having another child that would fit in with our life-plan and got Boo. Bailey just wants someone to pat his head. And husband, well he hopes for more wine & fire nights. 
 
In those intervening years since I first learned I was pregnant with Boo, the well-mannered dog died of old-age. And idiot that I am, I convinced my husband to get a puppy.  And life got more complicated. But you know what, I may play favorites but I wouldn't change a thing.

Maybe just one.....

Fate

I'm going to be honest. I typically do not believe in fate. I believe that we shape our own destiny based on choice. I struggle with divine intervention, as I believe first God doesn't care who wins the Superbowl, second He  would be a loving God and wouldn't allow Sandy Hook-type events to happen and third that God would realize I am ill-equipped to handle any child let alone one with special needs.  

But every once in a while something happens that makes me ponder how control I do have over my life, how much is left to fate and divine intervention.

Boo has yoga at J's house on Saturday mornings and Allie recently began Pony Club at the exact same time (poor planning on my part, I admit). Usually it is not a problem and when my husband is on duty I can move yoga to a later time. Last weekend this was not the case and so yoga was rescheduled to New Years day. Again, what was I thinking? I came to my senses and just cancelled it all together. We had a pajama day instead.

I just received a text from J, the yoga instructor. Four of her five children have been diagnosed with the flu. Not just a cold, the actual flu. Not one of her children but four of them. (Okay, seriously how unfair is that!!!)

So I am again pondering. Was it just my overscheduling my girls or divine intervention or fate that yoga was cancelled and we escaped Boo being exposed? Because I know my girl's luck and exposure would equal a hospital visit.

Just in case, we are definitely making Mass this weekend!

So Long 2012

The New Year is here and I am very optimistic. Crazy, eh? Until I look at 2012 and realize it really wasn't as bad as all the news channels make you believe. In fact we learned quite a lot.

For example, In Feb 2012 we went on a ski trip with another family. Allie learned that she HATED ski school and wondered why the heck she had to go to school when it was February VACATION. But my man and I got to ski for two whole days as one of our friends is a non-skiier and fully prepared/competent/caring enough to babysit Boo at the condo while we realized that our 40+ year old bodies do not quite ski as well as our 20 year old bodies used to.

In April we went to VA for Easter where we learned that you cannot hide chocolate eggs outside. They melt. I mean, melt as in becomes chocolate syrup. M&M's lied to  us. Well not really. They might not melt in our hands but they sure did in the plastic egg.

In June I started blogging and learned that I am so not alone. There are plenty of moms out there being tortured by their family, in-laws, husbands and children. And yes, we all love our children, husbands and in-laws. They just drive us nuts sometimes. Blogging has allowed me to laugh, cry vent and learn. I have "met" (can you meet people you have never seen in person?) so many great people since then. All of us on a similar journey with different speed bumps.

In July I learned that Boo loves the sensory mat her aunt made her. I also learned that if you leave it on the deck the crazy puppy will think it is a water bed and bust it open trying to get the toys.

In September I learned that it was okay to be an idiot once in a while. As long as you accept and love your child more often than not. ALOT more often than not.

In October, I learned to be an advocate when Ann Coulter really ticked me (and a gazillion other people) off.

In November I learned that it was not only possible to travel to Disney with Boo, but enjoyable. I also learned that you can get Allie all the way to Orlando without her ever knowing she is going to the Happiest Place on Earth.

In December we all learned that the World is a pretty dark place sometimes. But the deaths in New Town does not define those families, the children's lives did. (I refuse to give any more attention to the killer). I also learned that while the world is sometimes dark, Boo's smile and Allie's wit will always brighten my day.

So bring it on 2013. We might have ended the year on a bleak note. But as I hold onto my family, I know that it will all be okay. Happy New Year everyone!

Photo taken by: Lisa Perez Fine Art Photography