I thought I found my rhythm. I thought I was going to be alone and ready to make a life-change/move out of my comfort zone. Then I met my husband and my rhythm changed from a single woman to a couple. Putting another's needs before my own. We added a dog to our little house and life was good.
Eons later, just after I found my couple rhythm we got married. You would think that nothing would have changed from live-in couple to spouse. But it does. All of a sudden I was thinking long-term and making plans. Just as we found that rhythm Allie was born.
Holy crap there is nothing like adding a newborn to completely make you lose your rhythm. I floundered for a while. Not really understanding the whole wife/mother/worker role. It was difficult, I didn't bond right away with Allie because I was so nervous I was going to screw up. But I didn't screw up too badly (she survived). I found my best rhythm when she was a toddler. When she was no longer breakable and I could understand her needs. There is nothing like vocabulary to settle your rhythm. No longer wondering what the heck does this thing want? (Yes, I called her a thing)
We were nicely in our groove with dog, child and spouse. A new job and college degree for me. Motoring on for half a decade without any real issues. We built a house, had to establish a new routine for preschool / work /mom / spouse. Then unexpectedly there was Boo.
Holy crap, I thought one child was hard to get use to? Having two was a wake-up call. Add a child with unexpected health issues to the mix and our rhythm of the family was completely evolved. But we found our rhythm in those early months. Allie learned how to prevent Boo from choking. We freaked people out at parties with our laid-back attitude to Boo's vomiting. Just wear a towel if you want to hold her we would say. As Boo stabilized and we were no longer on alert, our rhythm changed yet again. I also got a lot more sleep, which probably helped.
Then the dog died and a part of my husband's rhythm was lost. Then we added a puppy and holy crap what was I thinking.
But through it all we've maintained our groove of our family. I may not be able to dance or sing (according to the thing) but we have managed to all survive this experience we call life. We may not always be in sync but we are all following the same tune.
Although I admit to being a tad nervous of whatever is lurking around the corner to put me off my rhythm again!