How to know if you are a mom

Quick disclaimer...this is not a dad bashing. But sometimes we all question (at least I do) if we are moms or something less. And taking a riff from Jeff Foxworthy I have come up with my own list to decide if you are a mom or not quite yet.

If you can tell instantly upon walking into the house the difference between your child's hazmat, your dog may have pooped on the floor or your husband just broke wind...you might be a mom.

If your child wakes up at 3am and can find you snug in your bed, after traveling up a flight of stairs in the dark and totally bypassing the other side of the bed, the one closer to the door....you might be a mom.

If you get called at work to find out if that shirt that is folded in the laundry basket is clean or dirty and/or if that thing is the fridge is still good to eat...you might be a mom.

If you can tell by your child's cry over the baby monitor if they will be going back to sleep quickly or if you need to run into their room to prevent a full-scale meltdown...you might be a mom.

If you can simultaneously cook dinner, do the dishes and stop a sibling squabble without burning anything...you might be a mom.

If you would rather lay on the couch and snuggle your child (at any age) instead of going out on a Friday night...you might be a mom.

If you eat the last fudge brownie in the laundry room while you let your child watch another hour of TV....you might be a mom. Heck, if you ate the whole tray of brownies in the laundry room you are definitely a mom!

If you have held a child on your lap while you have ate, drank or peed....you might be a mom.

If a child has crawled into bed at 3AM and it took the man person on otherside of the bed 4 hours to realize that there is a third person there...you might be a mom.

If you understand that meltdown-thirty  immediately  proceeds wine-thirty...you might be a mom.

If a child has broken and mended your heart at the exact same moment...you might be a mom.

If you have woken up on a Monday morning and thought to yourself thank God they go to school today...you might be a mom.

If you know the schedule of the PBS programming without looking at the guide....you might be a mom.

If you have ever turned a child upside down in public and sniffed to see if a diaper might need changing...you might be a mom.

And last but not least....


If you read this post and not only laughed but nodded your head...you might be a mom.

So, how do you tell if you are a mom?