I am 'out' to about all of 6 people that I know in my real life, as opposed to this still-toddler stage virtual one. This number does not include my husband, who has been told TWICE, but sometimes manages to forget. Only two of the four read on a regular basis. The others, I am not sure if I ever drew the map on how to get here. If they do visit here often they never let me know.
I remain on the threshold of that closet door wondering if it is a good decision to come out or safer to remain inside. On one hand, I get to use this forum like a therapist couch and on the other I am sharing more with strangers than my own circle.
In typical Kerri fashion I devised a pro/con list:
- I don't offend anyone that I will meet in the grocery store. Like the time I complained about the friend who drank all my wine.
- I can be heartbreakingly honest without fear that a friend will be calling to ask me if I am okay. Because you just know I will respond, if you read the blog than you know I am not!
- I don't have to worry when I complain about how some random comment hurt my feelings and making that person feel bad.
- I can say anything on this blog without a care that what I say may be misconstrued, gossiped about or whatever. If I don't like something you comment on this blog I can delete it (like that SPAMMER who tried to sell you something in my comments section) and move on.
- I am potentially limiting people who can help Boo.
- I am definitely limiting their understanding of her.
- I am shrinking my village/circle/support system by not being honest
- Staying in the closet where there are brownies, I am definitely not offending any family members when I vent via blog. Just imagine the Yankee Swap at Christmas if I tick off a sister-in-law.
- I am not getting phone calls that asks was it X who said that about Boo?
- I'm not getting calls from Mom either in embarrassment (what did you & Tia do in SPAIN!) or in worry (why didn't you tell me you broke!)
- I am not letting Boo's friends and family know all about her hard work and triumphs.
- No one is telling my husband all of the crazy things I write. (total bonus)
- By staying in the closet I may not be helping friends who are too scared or tired to ask for help
- I am not boring any friends who get tired of Facebook posts about the "R" word, World Down Syndrome Day and fundraisers for my favorite cause Children's Hospital. Although the fundraiser included beer so they probably didn't mind that one as much.
- I might get more Top Mommy votes and move up from oblivion (warning shameless plug below)
|GO VOTE :)|
After reviewing the list, I am still on the edge of the closet. Because I started this blog as a means of therapy. A place I can say anything and not worry about anyone else but me. Then as it evolved into a daily occurrence (something I never imagined) with followers, I thought it was too late now to tell people.
Do I send a birth of a blog announcement? Or a hey, I've been keeping a secret announcement like I did for Jenn and Tia.
Plus, I think there are brownies and wine around in this closet, for sure somewhere. Probably under the shoes....