Sometimes I have to remember I have a husband. He is not home often, if he is not at his first job he has found a second or a friend in need of his help. I usually joke I am a single parent with a dual income. Not to minimize what single parents go through. But at night when the girls are in bed I realize it has been about a week since I last had a conversation with the man.
And that conversation had nothing to do with US but with the girls. What appointment Boo had that day or Allie needed help with something. Or hey, can you feed the puppy? These conversations usually happen as the other one is walking out the door.
Thank goodness for texting. Cause at this point that should count for conversation!
So I was trying to find a way to reconnect. Without the girls. In a moment of (what I now think was) sheer insanity, I booked us a weekend away. Just the two of us. No friends, not children, no family, no puppy. A short 3-4 hour drive away. Far enough that I won't come back early. Close enough that I can get back early. (Yes, the extended February vacation had something to do with my insanity). Close to wineries and a hard cider mill. Shopping, hiking, who knows. Just being a couple for almost two days. Well, what I should have done was make the reservations for right then, rather than in a couple of months. Because....
Holy crap what was I thinking?
Now, in the interest of honesty I never had a problem leaving Allie for the weekend. Heck, we even flew across the country to Vegas one year for a long weekend. I could leave Allie anywhere with anyone. I am not saying that I love Allie less. It is just I could meet someone at the post office and they would gladly take her home.
Allie is easy.
I have a couple of friends that will take crazy puppy. Ones that want a puppy and then take Bailey and realize they like their house dog-hair free. But they love to take him from time to time.
Bailey is easy.
Boo is the hard one. And hard is the wrong word. First, I don't like being away from Boo. I have done it before. We went away for a week and left Boo and Allie with my parents. I worried the entire time I was gone. I called home (FROM ARUBA!) at least 3 times a day to check on her. Looking back, it was easier to leave Boo when she was not mobile or really 'developing'. She was in a great daycare where she just hung out. So my parents were not with her for 24/7. They got 8 hours off during the day. And still they were completely worn out by the time we got home. But a weekend? That is 48 hours of non-stop Boo.
I worry about people not being able to handle Boo. She doesn't always sleep through the night. She hits her head when she is frustrated. She needs a translater. We know what she is saying, but the uninitiated....Boo misses us now. She realizes when we are not there. And after this weekend, when she was so constipated she screamed for almost a whole day until I finally got the medication to work then we had the opposite problem. Will some one not used to this type of thing understand and not panic?
Boo is also lovely, a cuddler and a great little kid. She has the best hugs and is freaking hysterical when she gets excited about something.
We have a few trusted babysitters. Those who can 'handle' Boo for a couple of hours. They are generally teens and don't have to cook, clean or do anything other than hang with the girls for few hours.
But a weekend? There are maybe a handful of people I could ask. More importantly that I would trust.
I think they would rather have the crazy puppy.
Now I am in a quandry. Do we still take our weekend and act like adults? Or do we bring the girls along with us? Or do we just cancel and plan a more family-centered getaway?
When I brought this up to Husband he replied, in typical male fashion, "whatever you want to do". Yeah, that helped.
So now I am in a quandry. Do I take a weekend to reconnect with my husband? Or do we take the girls with us and reconnect as a family away from therapies and other commitments?
What about you? How do you remember you have a husband? Other than when it is time to do the laundry?