We have had company the past two weekends. This has led to disrupting Boo's routine. It happens every time. She is good while the company is here. But not sleeping in her room and having her routine interrupted leads to sleepless nights, constipation and general fussiness.
Company doesn't understand why Boo must go to sleep in her room (still our guest room) and then be moved AFTER she fall asleep. They do not understand that Boo cannot fall asleep some where else. They also don't understand that I cannot let them sleep in. Well, they can try. But Boo is pretty loud and her voice kinds of echos when she is excited.
Then Joey died. Allie's pet beta fish. I don't know why it surprised me. He was trying to hang himself for days in the plant roots. Joey was cool because he was low maintenance. Clean his bowl once a month and feed him once or twice a week. Allie had kind of forgotten about him. But "fish" was one of Boo's first signs and she loved him for awhile. But I think I am the only one who misses him.
Probably because he was the easiest family member to take care of!
Which leads me to crazy puppy. He just turned a year and has forgotten all we have trained him. He just woke up wild this week. I think the company disrupted his schedule too.
Work has been nuts. Remember that co-worker whose "emotional plate was full"? (I still love that line). Anyway, she gave a week's notice. She is leaving to take care of her sick mom. I find this admirable, if a little confusing. In this economy how some one can quit a good paying job with benefits, is beyond me.
I also feel guilty. Because I am not quitting my job to take care of Boo. I haven't ever really considered it. Oh, I've wondered how I've KEPT my job. With all the time off for appointments and crazy hours to attend most of Boo's therapies. It's a wonder and I am very thankful for an understanding boss and coworkers. Now and again I have tried to cut back my hours. The job just doesn't allow it. They are flexible, but at the end of they day the job has to be done.
But in truth, if not for my job I would lose my sanity. Or be spending a lot more time with Pinot Grigio. I wonder how people do it. First on one income and second on the whole sanity factor.
To top it off, the thing that put me over the edge...my mom wants us to bring the girls down for the long weekend. It is not the 12-hour thru the night drive that is bothering me. We do it all the time (it is much easier to travel that way). It is the thought of another weekend, a weekend I thought I could actually relax, being taken away from me. The thought of completing disrupting Boo's structure. Of her missing her Yoga session. Of knowing that she will be sleeping in my arms for 2 nights which means when we come home I have at least 5 nights of misery until she readjusts to being home. Of her diet being off because you are on a pseudo vacation. Of my husband missing much needed over-time because it is a long weekend and a lot of guys are off. Of Allie having to miss her Pony Club. Something she has been looking forward to.
I always think my mom gets it. That Boo is harder than she seems. That Allie is getting older and more involved in weekend activities. But her understanding is trumped by her desire to see the girls. And since mom is the best ever, you know I will be traveling thru the night this weekend. For two days to drive back thru the night to make her happy. Because my mom deserves it.
I'm going to miss that fish.
Don't forget:
I'm sure your mom does deserve to see her granddaughters, but remember you ALSO deserve the weekend you need to recuperate. I maintain that the life of a working mother, and especially one who has a child with special needs, is the most challenging one ever. Give yourself permission to be selfish for you and your girls. I bet your mom would understand.
ReplyDeleteShe probably would...but I made her morning when I told her to expect a 2am knock on the door :)
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