Being okay doesn't mean being satisfied

A few months ago I wrote a post titled Paging Dr. House. One of the most fantastic benefits of blogging is when a reader might not comment but instead send you a lifeline. To protect her privacy, "T" wrote to me shortly after that post and encouraged me not to give up. Not to despair. But more than a pat on the shoulder "T" gave me the  name of a doctor who might be willing to review Boo's history. She may have found our Dr. House.

So last week we took a little 20 hour road trip hoping to find an answer to what is Boo.

We were worried, to be honest. David was nervous of walking into a Justina Pelletier issue. I was excited, we might have an answer. A little nervous that we were making a huge monetary investment in a hoax. Then I got excited again. Until the day we left and I realized that answer might be that Boo has only five years left of life. I wasn't quite ready for that news. I sent a panicked text to Tia who replied: BREATHE.

Thankfully our fears never came true. Instead we were given a new hope: finding an answer. We might not, the doctor was very honest with us. However just looking at Boo she said she was confident that not only did Boo have a syndrome but that the answer was out there. Not five years from now, but as near as six months. 

For the first time in too long a Doctor got it. A Doctor looked at Boo from her beautiful hair, to her teeth, to her fingers and toes. A Doctor didn't talk with just me, but looked at Boo and spent time (almost 2 hours) with her. She noticed that Boo grinds her teeth, that her hands/feet are slightly webbed, that she is the best hugger and has bowed legs. She took out her medical books, laid them on the desk and said, "I've seen this characteristic before...." and "wait let me think about this..."

She was also honest and said we might not find the answer today but that it was important to never stop searching. She understood the why of it all. That to get Boo the best life possible we cannot be in the dark. We need to be aware of what she has so we give her the best chance at living her life that is this beautiful miracle. 

This Doctor was clear: While Boo's tremendous advances may have "ruled her out" for certain syndromes that might not be true. Without her therapies and schooling she would not be where she is today. Her advances might be in spite of a syndrome rather than because of one. She was also honest: She might not find the answer but that didn't mean the answer isn't out there somewhere. 

She solidified for us that we have to continue to be warrior parents. That the hole in her heart may be "trivial" but it is important, that her temperature issues might be manageable but they are important, that Boo has dysmorphic features and they are important. In her terms, Boo has "structural issues" and these are due to a genetic syndrome and not by chance. That we need the answers because one day these "trivial" issues might prove to be catastrophic. That it is our job as parents to continue to be the thorn in the medical establishment's side. She understood on an intimate level that this is our child, the most important child in the universe. 

Boo will have to undergo more laboratory testing. The tests take about six months to result. The six months will be worth the wait, even if the answer is we don't know. At least we found someone who won't stop looking with us. We will know we have exhausted every option, for now. 

Maybe, just maybe I will have to change the name of this blog from Undiagnosed but Okay to something more appropriate.

Won't that be a cool problem to have?

Thank you, "T". You know who you are. Thank you for reaching out and "stalking" until you found me on Facebook to offer us a lifeline. When I was in despair and worried you were willing to take time out of your life to offer me hope. I won't forget it and hope to pay it forward someday.